Family Conflict over Baby Shower

Kellen77 wrote:I'm looking for some support and opinions regarding my ongoing conflict with my mother. My mother offered to throw me a baby shower which of course I accepted. This is my first child and I really don't have many expectations! I'm 34, and this may be my only child - and its the first boy in the family. We're all very excited! Anyway - my mom lives far away and I recently found out she planned to just have a few pies for everyone to eat (which I felt was not enough especially since people are driving a long way to attend!). But the real problem is I requested it to be co-ed so my entire family could attend. My husband has 3 brothers (no sisters) and wanted them to be included - and I agreed. My mother didn't like the fact I wanted food and wanted "ladies only" - and no kids. She is claiming I'm being "rude" and "pushing her around" - and that I have no say in the shower as she is the one who offered to throw it!? Now I feel like (once again) I'm the one being pushed around - and why wouldn't what I want matter at all?? I have a hard time standing up to her - and we've always had these problems. She's very, very difficult and manipulative. But honestly - what are the "rules"? I'm new at this and never thought I would have children!! My husband said to tell her to go fly a kite and we'd have it somewhere else...opinions??

Kellen77 wrote:I'm looking for some support and opinions regarding my ongoing conflict with my mother. My mother offered to throw me a baby shower which of course I accepted. This is my first child and I really don't have many expectations! I'm 34, and this may be my only child - and its the first boy in the family. We're all very excited! Anyway - my mom lives far away and I recently found out she planned to just have a few pies for everyone to eat (which I felt was not enough especially since people are driving a long way to attend!). But the real problem is I requested it to be co-ed so my entire family could attend. My husband has 3 brothers (no sisters) and wanted them to be included - and I agreed. My mother didn't like the fact I wanted food and wanted "ladies only" - and no kids. She is claiming I'm being "rude" and "pushing her around" - and that I have no say in the shower as she is the one who offered to throw it!? Now I feel like (once again) I'm the one being pushed around - and why wouldn't what I want matter at all?? I have a hard time standing up to her - and we've always had these problems. She's very, very difficult and manipulative. But honestly - what are the "rules"? I'm new at this and never thought I would have children!! My husband said to tell her to go fly a kite and we'd have it somewhere else...opinions??

Vindeira wrote:Hi! Times have changed and your mom needs to realize that, even if it is hard to hear. It is a great thing to have your husband and other male friends and family members attend because this is a special day. I think either your friend or family member can throw you a shower if your mom doesn't quite get it, and hopefully she will attend and see why you wanted it done this way. Good Luck!