Isn't a counselor suppose to help?? : Child or Pregnancy Loss

Fri Oct 30, 2009 10:38 am

So, I finally broke down and decided it was time I see a counselor (since my hair is falling out and everything, it's obvious I can't handle this any longer on my own). My first appt was yesterday. She listens to me whine, cry and tell my story for almost an hour. She offered no words of wisdom or guidance at all. She did tell me that I'm depressed (DUH) and in the same breath says, and I quote, "I don't mean to be a pessimist here, but some people are alive simply because they haven't died yet". HUH??? She went on to explain that some people don't know how to really "live" and love life. Gee, thanks, so I guess I'm one of those people that is alive simply because I haven't died yet??? I went in to the appt hoping to receive some support, some guidance on how to handle my stress and I left feeling more sad and depressed than when I walked in. Needless to say, I will not be going back to her. Good grief!!!!

Fri Oct 30, 2009 1:06 pm

Oh My, I can't believe she said that to you. I am so sorry it wasn't a better appointment for you. That must of been hard thinking you would come out of there with some new outlook, or atleast feeling alittle better. There are people out there that should not be counselors, maybe an actual therapist might be abit better not sure. Sorry you had no luck. Big hugs to you

katherine

Fri Oct 30, 2009 6:03 pm

Oh Sherry, I have totally been wondering how you are. That is a major disappointment...definitely DON"T go back there. I'm sure you just need to find someone else. I have found some counsellors that provide support through the women's reproductive health at our city hospital. Perhaps there is a unit near you where you could find a counsellor who is familiar with our situations.

Wishing you lots of better days ahead. And I think, personally, that you are living. Sometimes we all just need a little boost.

What a butthead she was. Sorry you had to experience that.

Much love and support!

Michelle

Fri Oct 30, 2009 7:15 pm

Thanks Michelle and Katherine! You ladies are much more supportive than the counselor!! :-)

Fri Oct 30, 2009 8:04 pm

I am so sorry she was not the right person. Can I ask how you found her? I got referred to mine through my ob. She knew my counselor has worked with a lot of women who have suffered a loss. If your ob won't give you a referral, I would start calling and asking if that is an area that they specialize in.

I really hope you can find someone better suited to help you get back on track. Big (((HUGS)))

Fri Oct 30, 2009 9:21 pm

Sorry you had such a horrible experience with that crazy counselor. I hope you find one that does their job right and says all the right things.

Sat Oct 31, 2009 8:50 am

Thanks Pam. I found her through my insurance. The way my insurance works, in order for them to pay for therapy and that type of thing, I have to call them and get an authorization code. They will then agree to pay for 5 visits in full. They also have to be the ones to refer me to the counselor/therapist. They give a list of counselors to choose from. So, I kind of blindly had to pick one from their list. Guess I'll be blindly picking a different one...unless I want to pay for the visits out of my own pocket. There's so much red tape :-(

Sat Oct 31, 2009 4:43 pm

That is so aggrivating!! I am so sorry! What about finding a different type of counselor through like an infant crisis / pregnancy place as well as get a couple of names from your ob and see if they match up on your insurance list....There has got to be an easier way to find a good person to talk to! I hope that you are able to find someone that you can openly share your thoughts and feelings with that will support you through your grief. Good luck hun!

Wed Nov 04, 2009 1:19 pm

I am so sorry to hear of your bad experience with the counselor. I have a great counselour that I heard about through a friend and she only charges $50.00 per session because she does NOT take insurance. Could you possibly call any counselors in your area and see if they offer anything like that? Not sure if you are religious or not but sometimes your local church has somoeone they recomend. Please do not give up searching for the right one. I am sorry you are going through all of this in the first place, and there is light at the end.

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Isn't a counselor suppose to help??