JUST PLAIN MAD!

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Mmehal..
by Mmehalsema
Posts 603
Tue Jul 03, 2012 9:15 pm
I was so hopeful for this month. We BDed 17 times!! They were perfectly times, we had a relaxing vacay and aunt flow was 5 days late, then this am right after I took my HPT and it was a BFN out of no where boom! THERE SHE WAS... no cramping nothing just wham! I was sad at first and as the day progressed I just got mad. I am a very religious person. God is my rock through everything but recently I am feeling like I am being punished... 6 months I know isn't long compared but it seems like an eternity to me. I mean there are people who lead these horrible lives and are blessed with children and they don't even see it that way. I know you all know how I feel I just had to get this out there. I am just mad and feel like no one in my world understands. My husband admits he is upset but has no clue how bad it is for me. My mom just keeps saying, "there is a reason for it all, maybe there would be complications etc and when it's time it'll happen" I am just so SICK OF HEARING THAT!
UGHHHHHHH
ok I feel slightly better after getting this all down on paper but only slightly, anyone have any advice to help with this feeling??? I hate feeling this way, I know it could be so much worse but it is horrible for me... Sorry for the pity party, just looking for some advice
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1 Angel 10/1/12
sockmo..
by sockmonkeys
Posts 927
Tue Jul 03, 2012 11:55 pm
I now exactly how you feel sweetheart! Especially considering the ppl we went to school with that have kids. A lady at church once told me that to some of us children are a bless and to others they are a blessing in disguise. Maybe they were in a point in their life where they needed something to set them straight. Not that I totally agree with her but it gives me something to think about then I'm having a pitty party. I wish I could say it gets easier with time, but it doesn't. You just find other ways cope.
Has DH had a semen analysis? Or have you had any blood tests ran to check your hormone levels?
Once I started focusing on my body while TTC more and more things started changing. And once you start it's impossible to stop! I too hate it when ppl say "it will happen when it's time" or "there's a reason for everything". Ppl don't get TTC unless they have truely had to try.
We should get together sometime and talk over a big glass of wine! lol I hope you don't have to try much longer.
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comewh..
by comewhatmae
Posts 1863
Wed Jul 04, 2012 7:45 am
I'm so sorry AF showed!! That really sucks!! I know how much you did everything to make it happen this cycle, and I'm so sorry it didn't work out this time.
It's ok to feel angry and frustrated, hope venting helps and you can hang in there and try again when you're ready ((hugs))
NewMam..
by NewMamaKim
Posts 3239
Wed Jul 04, 2012 8:20 am
I totally feel your pain. The more time went on for my DH and I, the more I started alternating between sad and angry each month. It doesn't help at all when people say it will happen, be patient, etc. For me, it actually makes it worse when they say those things because I realize they don't understand at all what I'm going through. I hope that the next couple of weeks pass by quickly for you (with maybe a few cocktails!) and that you can feel better and start to have hope for the next cycle pretty soon. Sending you lots of sticky baby dust for a H&H April baby and a hug to help you get through today!
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NewMam..
by NewMamaKim
Posts 3239
Wed Jul 04, 2012 8:24 am
Is it possible to make an appointment with an RE? Maybe it will give you something to look forward to and get some tests done to put your mind at ease. My RE told me I should have come in sooner, like after 6 months of trying with temping and OPKs.
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beachb..
by beachblue86
Posts 554
Wed Jul 04, 2012 11:43 am
So sorry she showed hun. I completely understand what you're going through. I have had times where I feel that I'm being punished as well but you gotta keep your head up and remember that God does have a plan for all of us, and while it may not make sense to us now everything happens for a reason. I'm sorry if that is frustrating to hear because TTCing does feel like an eterenity. What has helped me is the fertility testing, while testing is annoying I feel like the more I understand my body the closer I am getting to a BFP.

Best of luck to you. FX for a seat on the April bus.
Praying for a sticky bean!
cindy8..
by cindy84
Posts 437
Wed Jul 04, 2012 12:59 pm
I feel u it's just so frustrating at times ... We have had alot of ups and downs this year with trying and sometime it's like what's the point even when u do everything right still bfn! u will get have u time one day when the time is right maybe when u least expect it ... I know that's what everyone tells us but if u see from the ladies on here that's when it happens always the month u think ur out forsure god has a plan for all of us we just have to wait and see what it is!!!
Our1st

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karap_..
by karap_4
Posts 3441
Wed Jul 04, 2012 1:36 pm
I'm so sorry AF showed :/ and late even. Have you tried pre-seed? We had no trouble conceiving our first 2 children and when we ttc #3 it took 6 months, the last month I tried pre-seed for the first time and bd's night before and day after O date and voila! Hopefully this'll be your last TTC cycle for a long time! good luck!
srn031..
by srn0311
Posts 227
Wed Jul 04, 2012 7:25 pm
So sorry! I know how frustrating it is. And I know how MAD it can make you feel!! Its like, "what else could I have POSSIBLY done in order for me to become pregnant!??" Doesn't make sense. But....I know your sick of hearing it (I am to) but the time just isn't ideal right now for SOME REASON. Who knows what that is, but it isn't. IT WILL HAPPEN!!!!!!! On to the next cycle!
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Mmehal..
by Mmehalsema
Posts 603
Wed Jul 04, 2012 10:27 pm
Thanks ladies!! I really appreciate all of your replies, it helps a lot! I have my annual with my OBGYN in August and she said that since all of my temping and stuff looked ideal when I went in in May that if we haven't had any luck she'd see what we could do then so that gives me some hope. I will look around for an RE but I don't really know of any in Fort Wayne or where to look to even find a reputable one.
My hubby and I have tried pre-seed but at the risk of TMI we really don't need any "assistance" in that department and it just makes it less enjoyable, you know like when you over wet a slip and slide lol, the ride is just over too quickly! lol that made me laugh a little. I'd love any other advice about ways you all keep your mind off of it. Have a great week and Happy 4th for those of you in the US!
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1 Angel 10/1/12
JenBen..
by JenBen213
Posts 1
Sat Jul 07, 2012 12:50 am
I know EXACTLY how you feel! I felt the same way. I even told my husband that I thought I was being punished. I won't say that I completely doubted God; but I did question why other's didn't seem to have a problem concieving. At times I gave my husband a hard time and became downright impatient. Now, a year after we've been married, I found out I was pregnant! I instantly felt bad for not resting on God's word and lacking faith. I also felt bad for not being as positive towards my husband as we was towards me. Even in the midst of the excitement, I will say I learned a lesson on faith and patience. I know the sayings get old and they're so cliche, but it'll happen. Do what you need to do as far as going to your Ob-gyn (if you haven't already) to make sure your body is fine as well as your hubby getting checked, taking care of yourselves, etc. Most importantly, focus on enjoying your marriage and other things you may have going on. Hopefully we'll see a post from you stating you have a BFP :)
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