Lost my grandmother the day after Thanksgiving.

Wow...I didn't even know this board existed. My original post was in my DDC but I have copied it to post it here just for some support. Thanks guys.

A few months ago my grandmother was diagnosed with liver cancer. She started chemo about a month ago but instead of shrinking the tumors the chemo made them grown. She had seven tumors total on her liver. The Monday before Thanksgiving she was rushed to the hospital because she was no longer able to walk or care for herself. She spent about three days in the hospital in a lot of pain. She was then transferred to a hospice center. She kept telling us on Tuesday that she wanted us to bring her a plate for Thanksgiving. Even though we knew she wouldn't be able to eat it, a bunch of the family took her a Thanksgiving plate to the hospital on Thursday evening. We could tell it meant alot to her. She was in and out of consciousness this entire time but never lost sight of who we all were and always remembered who came to visit her. (My parents stayed in town during this entire time.) The Friday after Thanksgiving we got a call around 10pm that Memaw had passed away. I found out a couple of days after she passed away that she had planned to make a baby blanket for my baby but sadly that will never happen. Memaw inspired me to learn how to crochet, and my great aunt (Memaw's sister) said I could have all of her crochet needles and yarn etc. So I thougth I would crochet a baby blanket from Memaw's yarn so that it would still feel like it was from her. I'm just really sad because I don't feel like I've really let myself grieve for her. I am too worried about something happening to my baby if I get too upset. Everytime I get really sad I just think about the baby and it helps calm me down.

Sorry this was so long, thanks for listening!