I don't really have an opinion about people who do smoke it because I know so many that have  smoked in the past. I think it comes down to what kind if responsibilities you have and how the smoking affects those responsibilities.  I would not want my husband to smoke it because he is the bread winner in the house and that could put our whole livelihood at risk if they did random testing at work and he popped positive. As far as being against it, I would say that I am against it for my household, but I could care less about others smoking it, that is their choice.

I know highly-functioning marijuana users.  I know low-functioning marijuana users.  Legality aside, I think it is analogous to alcohol...fine as long as it is in moderation.

Legality aside, what do you think about people who smoke pot (in general)?  I *generally* don't have a problem with it.  Anyone I know how smokes it, does it on a social, recreational basis, the same as the way some people socially drink.  I suppose if someone did it all the time to the point of it affecting their life in a negative way, the same way alcohol can, I'd think they should be getting help.

Would it make a difference if it was somone in your family?  No

What if your DH came to you, told you he'd been smoking pot behind your back for about a month?  Would that send off any kind of warning bells for you?  WWYD?  The pot wouldn't bother me, the lying would (I consider doing something secretively and behind my back the same as lying).  I'd deal with it the same way I would had he lied to me about anything.  He'd know I was angry and hurt and why.  I'd find out why he was lying and we'd deal with it from there.  There'd definitely have to be a rebuilding of trust because if he had lied to me about this, I'd be wondering what else he was lying about.
If you are against Marijuana, why?  Is it because it is illegal, or other reasons?  I'm not against it.  I think it should be legal.

I don't have positive associations with it.  I think it's gross and irresponsible.  Aside from medical marijuana (which I fully support), I am not a fan of it.
My dh is even less likely than I to use it, so that part of your hypothetical is so far out of the realm of possibility that it's hard for me to give a good answer.  Basically, I'd figure he went off the deep end, lol.

my DH has never even had a puff of a cigarette.  If I found out he was smoking pot I'd prepare for the pod invasion.

DanaNJ wrote:Legality aside, what do you think about people who smoke pot (in general)?  I *generally* don't have a problem with it.  Anyone I know how smokes it, does it on a social, recreational basis, the same as the way some people socially drink.  I suppose if someone did it all the time to the point of it affecting their life in a negative way, the same way alcohol can, I'd think they should be getting help.

Would it make a difference if it was somone in your family?  No

What if your DH came to you, told you he'd been smoking pot behind your back for about a month?  Would that send off any kind of warning bells for you?  WWYD?  The pot wouldn't bother me, the lying would (I consider doing something secretively and behind my back the same as lying).  I'd deal with it the same way I would had he lied to me about anything.  He'd know I was angry and hurt and why.  I'd find out why he was lying and we'd deal with it from there.  There'd definitely have to be a rebuilding of trust because if he had lied to me about this, I'd be wondering what else he was lying about.
If you are against Marijuana, why?  Is it because it is illegal, or other reasons?  I'm not against it.  I think it should be legal.

 
IA

I am not against the use or legalization. I'm for it.

I don't smoke, but so many people I know smoke and have yet to see it negatively impact anyone I know.

I think it's better than cigarettes. Sure it's stinky, but the smell doesn't linger the way cigarette smoke does and the health risks associated with smoking pot vs. Cigarettes is virtually nonexistent.

I think if alcohol is legal, pot should be, too. How is pot worse than alcohol? It's not, IMO.

If my husband wants to smoke, then he can, so long as it's not around DS

Lulusmom wrote:I know highly-functioning marijuana users.  I know low-functioning marijuana users.  Legality aside, I think it is analogous to alcohol...fine as long as it is in moderation.

 
ITA.

spacecase76 wrote:Legality aside, what do you think about people who smoke pot (in general)? 
Would it make a difference if it was somone in your family?
What if your DH came to you, told you he'd been smoking pot behind your back for about a month?  Would that send off any kind of warning bells for you?  WWYD?
If you are against Marijuana, why?  Is it because it is illegal, or other reasons?

 

Its not my thing, I'm too straight laced for it.
 
But isn't it better than cigarettes as there is no nicotine in it?  Does it still cause lung cancer? 
 
IMO its probably not as bad as cigarette but me being me since its illegal and your DH knows that I would have bells ring because he's doing something he knows is illegal and that means that he's willing to put his family in a bad spot if he were caught.

I don't have a problem with other people using it and I think it should be legal.

I would have a problem with DH doing it behind my back for several reasons. I'd get over the marijuana use more easily than the lying.

I.Am.Who.I.am wrote: 
But isn't it better than cigarettes as there is no nicotine in it?  Does it still cause lung cancer? 
 
IMO its probably not as bad as cigarette but me being me since its illegal and your DH knows that I would have bells ring because he's doing something he knows is illegal and that means that he's willing to put his family in a bad spot if he were caught.

  
I see you are onto me

In LA, you are "allowed" so much for personal use.  If caught, they take it from you, no charges brought, as long as you aren't doing anything else illegal / stupid.  It can / does cause lung cancer, and a nasty cough.  Ultimately, its not that he's smoking again that bothers me, its that he was hiding it from me.  The timing / reason he told me are questionable IMO.  He told me last friday night (1.5 weeks ago), but, I think it had more to do with his buddy being out of town, and he wanted to smoke at home (outside), and I was there, and would find out.  I feel like he told me so he was "allowed" to do it. 


I admit, I am UPSET.  He has been looking for a (better) job for months now.  They are hard to come by.  His job does drug testing.  When he told me, the first thing I said was "what if you get hurt at work?  You will lose your job" (they only drug test for injuries).

He quit (smoking pot) about 8 months ago.  I thought he was doing so well.  We are seriously living paycheck to paycheck.  We can't afford for him to lose his job.  Oh, and guess what?!?  He's still smoking.  GRRR

me&zooey wrote:

I know highly-functioning marijuana users.  I know low-functioning marijuana users.  Legality aside, I think it is analogous to alcohol...fine as long as it is in moderation.

  
ITA.

 

Ditto. I know a lot more low-functioning drunks than potheads.

spacecase76 wrote:

 
But isn't it better than cigarettes as there is no nicotine in it?  Does it still cause lung cancer? 
 
IMO its probably not as bad as cigarette but me being me since its illegal and your DH knows that I would have bells ring because he's doing something he knows is illegal and that means that he's willing to put his family in a bad spot if he were caught.

   
I see you are onto me ;-)
In LA, you are "allowed" so much for personal use.  If caught, they take it from you, no charges brought, as long as you aren't doing anything else illegal / stupid.  It can / does cause lung cancer, and a nasty cough.  Ultimately, its not that he's smoking again that bothers me, its that he was hiding it from me.  The timing / reason he told me are questionable IMO.  He told me last friday night (1.5 weeks ago), but, I think it had more to do with his buddy being out of town, and he wanted to smoke at home (outside), and I was there, and would find out.  I feel like he told me so he was "allowed" to do it. 

I admit, I am UPSET.  He has been looking for a (better) job for months now.  They are hard to come by.  His job does drug testing.  When he told me, the first thing I said was "what if you get hurt at work?  You will lose your job" (they only drug test for injuries).
He quit (smoking pot) about 8 months ago.  I thought he was doing so well.  We are seriously living paycheck to paycheck.  We can't afford for him to lose his job.  Oh, and guess what?!?  He's still smoking.  GRRR

 
Warn him that depending on the type of test, residuals can be found up to a year after smoking pot, and even just being around the smoke can put traces in his body that can be found on a test. 

I would be upset too, if there was a chance it could jeopardize his job. Otherwise, as long as he isn't eating all the munchies in the house and being generally useless, I'd just be frustrated he didn't tell me.

Lulusmom wrote:I know highly-functioning marijuana users.  I know low-functioning marijuana users.  Legality aside, I think it is analogous to alcohol...fine as long as it is in moderation.

 
ITA!!

Legality aside, what do you think about people who smoke pot (in general)? 

I can't set aside the legality of the issue.  I think smoking of any kind is disgusting, but at least cigarettes are something legal and easy to buy. To obtain marijuana, you have to deliberately do something illegal. You must find a drug dealer, and in doing so you put yourself in a position to possibly be arrested.
What
if your DH came to you, told you he'd been smoking pot behind your back
for about a month?  Would that send off any kind of warning bells for
you?

I would be upset for a variety of reasons--he has consistently lied to me, he has had contact with a drug dealer, he has put his future in jeopardy in the sense that he could be arrested, plus he has used family finances to do something illegal. If he has had it in the house where the children live, that is another issue. 

And I would wonder what else he is hiding. What would I do? In our case, I would get our church involved, but for anyone I would recommend counseling. Not because he necessarily has a drug "problem," but because there is clearly a marriage problem. Sorry, good luck!

I can't put legality aside.
I'm not sure what behind my back would be, but ya, I'd be ticked if I found out that instead of working late, or even while working late, he was taking drugs, even marijuana.  
Then driving home too?
Oooh, there would be red flags all over that one.  Of course, my dh doesn't do drugs or or alcohol, so I'd be super worried about why he picked up a habit like that.  
I think it's a big deal, especially behind your back, because why would he hide it, what else is he hiding, doesn't he have any concern about taking it to excess and wouldn't he want you looking out for him, why would he start this all of a sudden (if it's been several times in a month and not before).  I'd be very interested in what was going on that led to this choice.  Also, is he doing this with other people, are they being hidden from you too, etc.


Edited, ok, I read the responses.  I see that he is hiding it because you would obviously and rightly be concerned about his job.  Still, isn't he concerned?  It's a major trust issue to do it behind your back, and to put your family's livelihood in jeopardy. Especially when you thought he stopped, so he knew he was hiding it.   And, no, I would not give my permission.  Even if it's not illegal, there are still serious consequences (getting fired) and even just additional risks of getting injured in the first place.

I don't have any issues with pot alone, legality aside, of course.  I feel it's no worse than drinking alcohol, legality aside.  I have a close family member who is a regular pot smoker.  I could care less.  My only concern about it is that it not be done around my daughter or when my daughter is in their care.  I have no doubt  that this family member does not go against my wishes.

That said, if my hubby were doing it behind my back, I'd be pissed.  Not because he's doing it so much as hiding it. It would make me wonder what else he's hiding from me.  It would also upset me because he is the primary breadwinner in our household (I work two jobs, but the two combined make up less than half of his paycheck) and is given random drug screens - it could effect his job and our livelihood.

I used to be a pot smoker.  That changed when I got pregnant with dd and I haven't looked back.  My feelings haven't changed about it though - to each their own, I guess.

azmom0408 wrote:Legality aside, what do you think about people who smoke pot (in general)? 
I can't set aside the legality of the issue.  I think smoking of any kind is disgusting, but at least cigarettes are something legal and easy to buy. To obtain marijuana, you have to deliberately do something illegal. You must find a drug dealer, and in doing so you put yourself in a position to possibly be arrested.
What
if your DH came to you, told you he'd been smoking pot behind your back
for about a month?  Would that send off any kind of warning bells for
you?
I would be upset for a variety of reasons--he has consistently lied to me, he has had contact with a drug dealer, he has put his future in jeopardy in the sense that he could be arrested, plus he has used family finances to do something illegal. If he has had it in the house where the children live, that is another issue. 
And I would wonder what else he is hiding. What would I do? In our case, I would get our church involved, but for anyone I would recommend counseling. Not because he necessarily has a drug "problem," but because there is clearly a marriage problem. Sorry, good luck!

 
ITA.  Perhaps it was the way I was brought up, I dunno, but I truly do respect my authority, even if I don't understand their reasoning.   I think there are worse things in the world than marijuana use...  but the fact is, it's illegal.   My hubby has a beer once in awhile and I see nothing wrong with it... but if for some obscure reason beer became illegal,  I would not support him continuing to drink it. 
 
For clarification,  I, of course, would not respect or obey authority if the authority told me to do something immoral or unethical.   Refusing to smoke pot probably would never be considered immoral or unethical.

When I think about an adult user, I think about a slacker. I don't understand it at all. That is something (IMO) that was fun every now and then in college, but how a grown adult justifies its use when you are grown (and especially when you have children) I'll never know.

Legalize it..it's not like people don't already have enough bad things to put in their body, lets give them a few more to help them make bad decisions.... 

Having read all the way down - here are the things that concern me.

A.)  Your living paycheck to paycheck, but he is smoking pot.
B.)  He quit 8 months ago, but restarted, in 'hiding' ... only coming out cause he wanted to smoke, and had to come clean, or NOT smoke... i.e. he couldn't NOT smoke.
C.)  If he gets injured, he loses his job, which means that your circumstances get WORSE, not better.

Here's the thing - I did marijuana when I was attending LSU.  Not often...every once in a while.  I moved back home, became friends with some people, and when I was working nights, did marijuana every morning just about when i got off work.

Everyone says - it's 'not' addictive... like cocaine... or other harder drugs where your body CRAVES it... if you stop using.

But marijuana is very mentally addictive...when someone that uses it every day....justifies it for any situation.  Let's celebrate.... I had a bad day.... I feel sick.....too much drama in my life.... 

It becomes a default response... and you 'manage' your life with getting high on marijuana.

Maybe it's not 'addictive' in the same sense...but when you use it, versus learning coping skills...regardless of whether it's addictive or not, it's the wrong choice.

Leilah wrote:I don't have a problem with other people using it and I think it should be legal.
I would have a problem with DH doing it behind my back for several reasons. I'd get over the marijuana use more easily than the lying.

 

See I don't understand people saying that it should be legal. I've smoked pot in my youth, and there is NO WAY that I would ever think it is okay to drive a vehicle after smoking pot. Talk about delayed reaction time and I can't see how that could be safe in any way.

FarrahTTC#2 wrote:

I don't have a problem with other people using it and I think it should be legal.
I would have a problem with DH doing it behind my back for several reasons. I'd get over the marijuana use more easily than the lying.

  
See I don't understand people saying that it should be legal. I've smoked pot in my youth, and there is NO WAY that I would ever think it is okay to drive a vehicle after smoking pot. Talk about delayed reaction time and I can't see how that could be safe in any way.

 
that's the same argument with alcohol, and yet it's legal. I don't understand why people will acknowledge that prohibition was a massive failure, but the war on drugs (specifically pot) isn't.

me&zooey wrote:

I don't have a problem with other people using it and I think it should be legal.
I would have a problem with DH doing it behind my back for several reasons. I'd get over the marijuana use more easily than the lying.

   
See I don't understand people saying that it should be legal. I've smoked pot in my youth, and there is NO WAY that I would ever think it is okay to drive a vehicle after smoking pot. Talk about delayed reaction time and I can't see how that could be safe in any way.

  
that's the same argument with alcohol, and yet it's legal. I don't understand why people will acknowledge that prohibition was a massive failure, but the war on drugs (specifically pot) isn't.

Again, ditto.

spacecase76 wrote:

 
But isn't it better than cigarettes as there is no nicotine in it?  Does it still cause lung cancer? 
 
IMO its probably not as bad as cigarette but me being me since its illegal and your DH knows that I would have bells ring because he's doing something he knows is illegal and that means that he's willing to put his family in a bad spot if he were caught.

   
I see you are onto me ;-)
In LA, you are "allowed" so much for personal use.  If caught, they take it from you, no charges brought, as long as you aren't doing anything else illegal / stupid.  It can / does cause lung cancer, and a nasty cough.  Ultimately, its not that he's smoking again that bothers me, its that he was hiding it from me.  The timing / reason he told me are questionable IMO.  He told me last friday night (1.5 weeks ago), but, I think it had more to do with his buddy being out of town, and he wanted to smoke at home (outside), and I was there, and would find out.  I feel like he told me so he was "allowed" to do it. 

I admit, I am UPSET.  He has been looking for a (better) job for months now.  They are hard to come by.  His job does drug testing.  When he told me, the first thing I said was "what if you get hurt at work?  You will lose your job" (they only drug test for injuries).
He quit (smoking pot) about 8 months ago.  I thought he was doing so well.  We are seriously living paycheck to paycheck.  We can't afford for him to lose his job.  Oh, and guess what?!?  He's still smoking.  GRRR

 

Well the "he quit" part and then started again without telling you would send off HUGE alarm bells in my head (if someone "quits" something and then starts on the sly it smells a bit of addiction...and that he is still smoking it.... but that might just be me). Then add what you said about drug testing at work and I'd be quite upset. 
Then again in the past I've had 2 different relationships that were ruined because of addiction to pot or behaviors coming out of a pot addiction (and there is no way anyone can tell me that it isn't addictive for some people) so this is a huge hot button for me.  But in general like you said it's the hiding that is a bigger issue and then the overall irresponsibility with the use related to potential job loss.