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WHAMDH is a manager at work. He did not start there as a manager, he has moved up. He isn't a manager over the other people, unless there is no other manager there he isn't "in charge" of anyone. In many ways the guys still see him as "one of the guys". Every morning there is a short staff meeting. Everyone who is there is required to go to the meeting. Usually there: plant manager, O&M manager, admin assistant, dh, 3-5 guys on shift.
The other day, dh was the only manager there. So in the meeting it was him & 5 guys on shift. They had the meeting and were chatting for a few minutes about their weekend, kids, LIFE. One of the guys asked "What's going on between E & S?" (O&M manager & admin assistant). DH asked what he meant. Well, apparently they have been seen taking off together a lot in the early morning. Easy to explain, and dh did. The three of them E, S & dh) get to work about an hour early & walk. DH comes in & says hi to the guys, the other two don't. Then the guys start talking about how they think E & S are working to make it look like the plant manager isn't doing his job & to get him fired. Everyone knows that E interviewed for the position & didn't get it, and this was the 3rd time. The guys were talking about how it looks like E & S are working together to get the manager fired.
Ok, all that background to ask: Does dh have a moral obligation to tell the plant manager what every one is saying? Apparently most everyone there thinks this is the case, that the 2 are working to get the plant manager fired.
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- by mum2one
- Posts 2898
Mon Jun 18, 2012 7:34 pm
- by loveluvlove
- Posts 1107
Tue Jun 19, 2012 2:28 am
an obligation? no.
morally? if he feels like he needs to.
DH was in a similar situation where the shift super had set up DH's foreman to 'fail' at his job. the foreman came in and no one trained him properly, or at all. he was just recently replaced with someone the shift super likes personally. DH figured it out and told his then-foreman to be careful. that's all DH could really say, because everything up until then were simply 'words' only.
morally? if he feels like he needs to.
DH was in a similar situation where the shift super had set up DH's foreman to 'fail' at his job. the foreman came in and no one trained him properly, or at all. he was just recently replaced with someone the shift super likes personally. DH figured it out and told his then-foreman to be careful. that's all DH could really say, because everything up until then were simply 'words' only.
Mommy to:
- by mommy2elijah
- Posts 2463
Tue Jun 19, 2012 10:28 am
I would do my own research into the claims before saying anything.
3 angels, Ashley, Elijah's twin Alison, and Baby October.
- by mojito_BZCL
- Posts 3524
Tue Jun 19, 2012 11:35 am
Personally, I would stay out of it unless I felt that the gossip, etc was undermining the work of the team. I am not sure what good it would do to bring this conversation up to the plant manager.
I could be something better addressed to HR, if DH thinks that the "evidence" E&S has is in error.
But in general, this sounds like general work gossip behavior to me, and the secret conversations could be about something else entirely.
I could be something better addressed to HR, if DH thinks that the "evidence" E&S has is in error.
But in general, this sounds like general work gossip behavior to me, and the secret conversations could be about something else entirely.
- by ilviolin
- Posts 689
Tue Jun 19, 2012 12:28 pm
I'm a little unclear on the situation, but from what you've said, it sounds like the gossip of the other employees is unfounded, and that your DH is in a better position to know what's really going on, since he's the one spending time with E and S. In this case, I don't think telling the plant manager about the gossip is a good idea, as it will cause more unnecessary drama. If I've misunderstood, please clarify.
Jen
Married to Ryan since June 06
Mother of one saint in heaven and Nathan Michael, 6/28/12
Married to Ryan since June 06
Mother of one saint in heaven and Nathan Michael, 6/28/12
- by MasterNinjaKitty
- Posts 156
Tue Jun 19, 2012 7:30 pm
I don't think he has a moral obligation to partake in office gossip, which is what passing that information on would do.
- by mum2one
- Posts 2898
Tue Jun 19, 2012 11:31 pm
MasterNinjaKitty wrote:I don't think he has a moral obligation to partake in office gossip, which is what passing that information on would do.
But is it gossip to tell the main manager that the employees think that someone else is trying to discredit him with corporate or warning him that he may want to change his approach?
- by mum2one
- Posts 2898
Tue Jun 19, 2012 11:34 pm
ilviolin wrote:I'm a little unclear on the situation, but from what you've said, it sounds like the gossip of the other employees is unfounded, and that your DH is in a better position to know what's really going on, since he's the one spending time with E and S. In this case, I don't think telling the plant manager about the gossip is a good idea, as it will cause more unnecessary drama. If I've misunderstood, please clarify.
Basically, the employees thought that E & S were having an affair. DH told them that wasn't true. The employees also think that E & S are working together to discredit the main manager to corporate, in an attempt to get him fired so that E can move into the position (which will not happen). DH told the employees that it wasn't true, but he doesn't know it for sure. They both hate the main manager & E does want that position. So does dh have an obligation to tell the main manager what the employees think about them trying to discredit him?
- by mommy2elijah
- Posts 2463
Wed Jun 20, 2012 9:45 am
mum2one wrote:ilviolin wrote:I'm a little unclear on the situation, but from what you've said, it sounds like the gossip of the other employees is unfounded, and that your DH is in a better position to know what's really going on, since he's the one spending time with E and S. In this case, I don't think telling the plant manager about the gossip is a good idea, as it will cause more unnecessary drama. If I've misunderstood, please clarify.
Basically, the employees thought that E & S were having an affair. DH told them that wasn't true. The employees also think that E & S are working together to discredit the main manager to corporate, in an attempt to get him fired so that E can move into the position (which will not happen). DH told the employees that it wasn't true, but he doesn't know it for sure. They both hate the main manager & E does want that position. So does dh have an obligation to tell the main manager what the employees think about them trying to discredit him?
I think the fact that he's already discredited one of their "theories" is enough to tip me off that they're just gossiping and don't know what they're talking about. It can be considered a serious offense to engage in office gossip, so I would choose to not participate in it. I guess my mindset is that schemes aren't typically successful in a professional setting because if everyone else is behaving maturely and professionally, the middle school antics stick out like a sore thumb. I still say to stay out of it.
3 angels, Ashley, Elijah's twin Alison, and Baby October.
- by ilviolin
- Posts 689
Wed Jun 20, 2012 12:33 pm
mommy2elijah wrote:mum2one wrote:ilviolin wrote:I'm a little unclear on the situation, but from what you've said, it sounds like the gossip of the other employees is unfounded, and that your DH is in a better position to know what's really going on, since he's the one spending time with E and S. In this case, I don't think telling the plant manager about the gossip is a good idea, as it will cause more unnecessary drama. If I've misunderstood, please clarify.
Basically, the employees thought that E & S were having an affair. DH told them that wasn't true. The employees also think that E & S are working together to discredit the main manager to corporate, in an attempt to get him fired so that E can move into the position (which will not happen). DH told the employees that it wasn't true, but he doesn't know it for sure. They both hate the main manager & E does want that position. So does dh have an obligation to tell the main manager what the employees think about them trying to discredit him?
I think the fact that he's already discredited one of their "theories" is enough to tip me off that they're just gossiping and don't know what they're talking about. It can be considered a serious offense to engage in office gossip, so I would choose to not participate in it. I guess my mindset is that schemes aren't typically successful in a professional setting because if everyone else is behaving maturely and professionally, the middle school antics stick out like a sore thumb. I still say to stay out of it.
This.
Jen
Married to Ryan since June 06
Mother of one saint in heaven and Nathan Michael, 6/28/12
Married to Ryan since June 06
Mother of one saint in heaven and Nathan Michael, 6/28/12
- by mojito_BZCL
- Posts 3524
Wed Jun 20, 2012 5:13 pm
Even with the additional information, I don't see anything positive that can be gained from him passing along the info.
- by MasterNinjaKitty
- Posts 156
Wed Jun 20, 2012 6:24 pm
mum2one wrote:MasterNinjaKitty wrote:I don't think he has a moral obligation to partake in office gossip, which is what passing that information on would do.
But is it gossip to tell the main manager that the employees think that someone else is trying to discredit him with corporate or warning him that he may want to change his approach?
"The employees think..." yes. It's gossip. It's hearsay and second hand information about a third party.
Change his approach? Maybe gently approaching it is in order without throwing anyone under the bus or raising hostility in the work place which is what is going to happen when you tell one employee that another employee is out to get them or that other employees think that an employee is out to discredit his job. If the person in question is actually performing in a such a way that the advice on changing his approach is warranted, then regardless of office gossip it should be addressed, but not because of it.
- by mum2one
- Posts 2898
Wed Jun 20, 2012 10:00 pm
MasterNinjaKitty wrote:mum2one wrote:MasterNinjaKitty wrote:I don't think he has a moral obligation to partake in office gossip, which is what passing that information on would do.
But is it gossip to tell the main manager that the employees think that someone else is trying to discredit him with corporate or warning him that he may want to change his approach?
"The employees think..." yes. It's gossip. It's hearsay and second hand information about a third party.
Change his approach? Maybe gently approaching it is in order without throwing anyone under the bus or raising hostility in the work place which is what is going to happen when you tell one employee that another employee is out to get them or that other employees think that an employee is out to discredit his job. If the person in question is actually performing in a such a way that the advice on changing his approach is warranted, then regardless of office gossip it should be addressed, but not because of it.
Ok, I understand what you mean about it being gossip. I didn't see it that way because it was the people who thought it saying it. My thought was that dh telling the boss that this is what people are thinking might get the boss to start acting more like a boss & less like an idiot. He really does need to change his approach. But how do you talk to the boss about that? HR is in Atlanta, GA. We're outside of Sacramento, CA. It isn't like there is someone to talk to easily about it.
- by paleographer2
- Posts 1293
Fri Sep 14, 2012 1:06 pm
I think he'll want to navigate the politics of it carefully, but if he can talk to the plant manager about this, he should, in my opinion.
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my nephews: Alec, Jackson, Elijah, Hayden, Eric, Atreus, Nicholas, Isaac, Samuel
my niece: Rubie
my nephews: Alec, Jackson, Elijah, Hayden, Eric, Atreus, Nicholas, Isaac, Samuel
my niece: Rubie