New to board

Thu Apr 24, 2008 1:52 pm

Hello everyone.

My MIL was diagnosed with an unknown cancer in December of 07. She went through a few rounds of chemo and we learned this week from several doctors all over the country, that they have all agreed that her cancer is incurable due to how its spread. She was advised to go into a maintenance mode to help prolong the quality of her life as much as possible. We are obviously devastated with the news. She is only 55 and otherwise healthy.

I am struggling with not only the idea of losing her, but with being a support system to my husband (who doesn't readily share his feelings), being an inlaw and taking the support role while the immediate family grieves, balancing how much my three kids (ages 1, 6, 7) learn about this, and then being pregnant. I am trying to work through it all and it's tough.

I am sitting here in quiet, as my youngest is napping and my older two are at school, and find myself sobbing uncontrollably. I have been strong for weeks for my kids and husband and apparently now have decided it's time for me to let loose. So... I found my way over here as well to type this out and say hello.

It seems many of you have lost loved ones to cancer, so I am hoping to find additional support in your words. I have lost loved ones before, but not to a disease that renders them in pain, often suffering, and a slow process. It just sucks.

TIA for reading and I hope we can lean on each other for awhile.....

Tara

 
www.tarastroud.pureromance.com
 

Thu Apr 24, 2008 2:10 pm

Oh hun first of BIG HUGS!!! You deserve the time to just cry, sometimes crying is the best therapy.

It's hard watching the one you love slowly slipping away. I hated watching my grandpa pass away but I wouldn't have changed a thing about it. I was there till the very end with him.

We're here for you! If you need anything let us know. There are a few of us who've been through what you're going through right now.

Remember that if you need to just cry. Hugs!!

 
 
 

Thu Apr 24, 2008 4:25 pm

reading this brings up so many feeling about my mom I am so sorry you have to go through this. it is tough to watch your love ones leave us. We did have hospice come to the house and they were wonderful people. Please feel free to come here and talk to us you need to talk to someone I know you want to be strong for your family but you also need to deal with this too.

HUGS

Lisa

Angus Liam 02/18/04
Brodie Ian 05/18/06

Fri Apr 25, 2008 12:47 am

Hi, glad you found us over here. I am so sorry to hear about your MIL. It's hard when you have to try and stay strong for those around you, especially when it is eating away at you too. It is good to just stop and have yourself a good cry.

Cancer is a very horrible disease. It is hard seeing the ones you love in so much pain, and knowing that there isn't anything we can do to help ease that pain. If you ever need to vent, talk, cry, have question, please don't hesitate to come here.

Alyssa-Jan. 22, 2001
Alex- March 10, 2007
Nicholas-May 3, 2011
Baby Girl Due Dec. 2012

Fri Apr 25, 2008 11:34 am

Tara,

I am so sorry to hear about you MIL. Cancer just SUCKS! Please know that we are here for you.

I am Jamie, I have 2 girls, Allison & Elizabeth. I lost my mom to Stage 4 Lung Cancer March 30th.

I think you are doing great trying to help your dh and be supportative to your family but you have to grieve as well. You can't keep it in, she is family to you as well.

You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Have the found what type of cancer it is?

Jamie

Wife to Jim since 09/02/00

Mama to Allison Grace (11/16/04)
And Elizabeth Lyn (06/19/06)

Fri Apr 25, 2008 2:34 pm

Thank you Jamie.

No, they have yet to determine the type of cancer she has, although there has been speculation lately about it being kidney cancer. Some drs think otherwise from tests, so I am not sure why we can't find the source. It's still listed officially as unknown.

 
www.tarastroud.pureromance.com
 

Sat Apr 26, 2008 3:24 pm

hugs hon. I am still trying to find the balence for my husband. When it happens you just find the survial mode. You need to focus on make the most of the time she has left. As awful as that sounds. I would suggest getting in as many photos and stuff as you can. This helped us. The kids!

host of adoption, ct neighborhood, loss board.