Ready to go foward : Loss of a Loved One Zone

Sat Oct 24, 2009 12:43 pm

4 yrs ago I lost my son to SIDS, it was the hardest thing i have ever gone thru. I thought my world was over. The one thing that made me react was something my husband said to me one day after a counseling session, ( mind i had been thnking about suicide) *"if you want to go ahead and take your life then do it, but dont drag Lil Be ( my other daughter) and me into this" at first i was like what? what a jerk how can he say that, but as it sunck in more in my head, I realized he was right. Not only did i lose a son so did he and my daughter lost a brother. So for the last 4 years i did not even want to get preganant for the reason that i just thought god had punished me in some way or another by taking my son away 4 yrs ago. I also felt that if i did get pregnant I would be comparing that baby with my son Edgar. In the beginning of this yr, my husband and i were talking about finally trying to have a baby, so we did i got pregnant in Feb. but I had a miscarriage. So i right away thought "another punishment" All i coud think was "maybe i am not suppose to even try at all, well when we least expected it i was PREGNANT...........again. Well we went to the DR. yesterday and he told us it is a baby girl and she is very healthy. I felt my heart full of joy and happiness because I am ready to go foward with out wanting to compare every little thing to my son...........he is always in my heart and in my mind but i know he is in agood place..........

Sun Oct 25, 2009 8:27 am

I'm so sorry for the loss of your son. I can't begin to imagine the heartache and pain you've experienced over the past 4 years. It sounds like its been a long hard road for you but that you're finally at the point that you can move forward.

Congrats on your new pregnancy! Not that this baby will ever take the place of your son, but I'm sure this baby will bring a new joy to your household.

Hugs!

Mon Oct 26, 2009 9:31 pm

Thank you...it has been a hard road just today i was very upset becuase i was thinking about my son and i felt very sad. I miss him so much, i kow that god has him by his side and he is seeing me from heaven but in the human flesh my heart aches so much for him!!!!!!!!

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