We usually tip 15% for average normal service, we have tipped way more for above and beyond service and definelty I have not tipped someone when I got poor service.  Tipping is not required but it is a social norm but I think if a server doesn't do their job they don't deserve to be tipped.

I worked as a server in a lot of places, so I know where you're coming from. I used to have little old couple that would come in after church and leave me a tip placed in whatever little model the old man shaped his dinner roll into (boat, bird, swan, etc.) It was usually a good tip in relation to the bill, but I never knew what they wanted me to do with the dinner roll model.
Tipping is usually at 15% of the bill before taxes for me, unless the service is bad, which I'll give 10%, if the service is great, upwards from 20%. Awful service gets no tip. I know the difference between good service and bad, and when it's the kitchen's fault as opposed to the server's---but I expect if the kitchen is massively behind to be made aware of it, and the server should be accommodating (keeping a closer eye on drinks, etc) while we're waiting for late food. If they aren't (and they disappear for 30 minutes with no explanation) then I put that on the server. I also expect the bill to be delivered and received promptly--when I ask for the bill, it means we want to leave, not spend 15 minutes waiting for it to come, and an additional ten minutes to have it completed. Servers are more likely to get a smaller tip from me if they keep me waiting to pay for my bill (and the tip.) 
I know from experience that serving means living off tips, but one's tip is made in relation to how well you serve a customer. There will always be people who don't tip, but the majority will if you've been a decent server to them. Serving is one of the few professions where feedback from your job is instant and directly affects your wages. I lived off of serving pretty well.

It's optional in the sense that the restaurant can't call the police if you don't leave one, but isn't optional in the sense that the universal expectation, as reflected in server wages, is that the diner will tip, and therefore, in my view, tipping your server is part of the cost of a restaurant meal.
 
My mother, embarrassingly, for years left $2 as a tip no matter how high the bill.  It was particularly mystifying because she was by profession a hair stylist who depended on tips.

The only time I do not tip is in a case of bad service. My general mindset is to tip 18%, however I am too lazy to do the math so I just double the tax which I believe is 8.8% in Seattle right now.

to answer my own questions:

I definintely do NOT consider tipping to be optional, solely based on my experiences serving tables and seeing how LITTLE money servers make on an hourly basis. I normally tip 20%, less for poor service and more for great service. I have, however, left without tipping once before. The service was TERRIBLE- we actually re-filled our own drinks at a bevderage station while our server sat at the bar and watched a football game!! I totally don't think he deserved a tip. (but I still felt guilty about it afterwards)

IMO, it's required. If I can't afford to pay for my meal and leave a tip, then I can't afford to eat there. We usually tip between 15 and 20 percent. 

Random sort-of-related question that's been bugging me all week: Do you tip the pizza delivery guy? And what would you do if you forgot? We ordered pizza the other night and I completely forgot to tip the poor kid. Under normal circumstances I'd have called to find out the delivery person's name and then leave him a tip next time we were there, but I have a house full of sick kids and didn't get around to it. Now I feel really bad about it.

KatieEBZHost wrote:Do you think tipping is optional or do you consider it to be socially required?

I consider it the 'right' thing to do...IDK that "socially required" is how I think of it...its just part of the expense of eating out.  I was a waitress for a while myself.  I have to get *really, really* crappy service to not tip at all.

KatieEBZHost wrote:Do you always tip a certain % or do you change it up depending on the service you receive?

it changes depending on the service.  I have tipped 25%-30% for excellent service, but "average" service gets 10-20%.

KatieEBZHost wrote:Have you ever NOT tipped a server? Why?

yep.  If I am dining out, and the only time I see my waiter is to place my order...I have to hunt down drinks, or go to the bar to get a Coke, the bus boy brings my food, no one ever checks up on us.  I have all of the above happen in 1 meal.  He got no tip.

I worked as a waitress several times in my life.  I hardly ever not leave a tip, I mean you really have to suck to not get a tip from me.  That being said thou in today's society most people just don't care about customer service... they take a job to wait tables and they just don't care, they are impersonal, they don't listen to what the customer wants.  Basically they feel they are owed a tip.... sorry but a tip is earned and if you just want to show up and get paid it isn't going to happen.  Some say if you can't afford to tip then don't eat out I say if i wanted to serve myself I would have stayed home!!!

In the US since servers/bartenders etc make such ridiculously crap pay I'd say it's required. What I'll say is NOT required is the % one gives, my friends worked as servers throughout college and would bleep and moan about people who didn't leave them 20%...
It's somewhat a catch twenty-two...while I think it should be required to tip, it's also your job as a server to make my experience enjoyable, it's not your right to get a high tip just because you wrote down what I wanted to eat. You have to actually do your job as well and to me that's filling up my water, being pleasant, helpful and coming to check on me once or twice during the meal to make sure everythings alright.
The general public isn't always that enjoyable to work with, I'm a CRM (client relationship manager) I deal with the public all day long. You can't let one client affect the rest of your day or the way you treat everyone else, especially if your paycheck depends on it.

Considering that servers (at least in the US) do not make mininum wage because it is assumed they will receive tips, NO it is not optional.
 
I give the standard tip for average service or below (here in NY, standard is to double the tax [tax here is 8.25%, so double that is about 16.5%]).  I consider it optional to give more than that for above average service, but to me, at least the standard tip is required.

I have never, in all of my restaurant going life ever left without tipping the server.
 
It's optional, but everyone knows that servers make squat and so the way you tip is a reflection of their service, not IF.
 

dorkgirl_jen wrote:Random sort-of-related question that's been bugging me all week: Do you tip the pizza delivery guy? And what would you do if you forgot? 

I do.  generally $2-3.  If I forgot, I'd feel bad.   If it bothers you bad enough, next time you order pizza, request that you get the same delivery guy from last time, then tip him double, and apologize for shorting him last time.  (As long as you aren't ordering on a Friday night, most pizza places will work with you on arranging your delivery guy.  I was an Asst. Mgr. of somewhere once, we did our best)

I used to think it was optional and for exceptional service only (although I always did tip, just never a lot).  Then I moved here to the US where I found out servers don't even make minimum wage!  To me that's appalling and I'm not sure how or why that's even legal (doesn't minimum mean minimum??).  We tip 20% usually.  Sometimes 15% if the server is really slow for no particular reason (like it's not busy; they're seen visiting with other servers, etc.) and up to 30% for exceptional service.
The only time we've not tipped was at Applebee's once.  It was busy, I'll admit, but she screwed up our order 3 times, "forgot" 2 items, 3 times kept putting hot items within Logan's reach (he was at that grabbing stage) after being told not to.  She charged us for items we didn't get.  She was rude when we questioned it.  She got nothing and the manager was informed of her performance.  That was the only time we've given absolutely nothing as a tip.

Well, the restaurants are wrong in this.  Tipping should be something that the customer CHOSES to do, based on the service they receive.  I have left restaurants leaving no tip when the service is bad.  Along with a note on the bill about why I am leaving no tip.  With details!  (ie: service spent 10 min flirting with the girls at the next table while we sat there with no drinks, things like that)  I will often hand that bill to the host/ess with a comment of "Please give this to the manager", or I will ask to speak to the manager right then.  I will, however, leave a large tip when service is great!  And, while I have learned not to ask the server for the manager, I do ask for the manager on the way out, or I call the next day & speak to the manager. 


I have found that lately I am tipping more.  Something has happened and, other than a local place that we go to all the time, the service we have been receiving has been exceptional!  lol  Seriously, glasses 1/2 full being refilled, quick responses to requests, stuff like that.


But no, a tip should NOT be required.  If it is required then it should be on the bill.

For average or good service I believe tipping is required. I have left no tip on occasion, but the service has to be absolutely terrible (ie. we waited 45 minutes for food with no drink refills and then finished our meal and sat with empty plates on the table for 30 minutes in a restaurant that wasn't busy at all.) I have also been both a cook and a server, and in general I think restaurant staff work hard for their money, so I'm usually fairly generous with tipping. 15% for service that was not great, but not awful. 20% for good service and more than that for exceptional service. I used to leave 5-10% for terrible service, but came to the conclusion that it doesn't send a strong enough message that you were unhappy. Some people tip like that for good service, so when I really want to show how dissatisfied I was, I leave no tip.

My FIL is a terrible tipper. We try not to go out to eat with them because it's embarrassing. He's rude to the server, asks for things that aren't on the menu then complains that they don't have it, and leaves like a dollar for a tip. We tip extra to make up for it, but it's still embarrassing.

The service would have to be stupendously bad for me not to tip.

Generally we tip 15%
mediocre service will get you 10% (or buffet restaurants)
Great service will get you 20%

*ETA I live in Canada where I believe servers get paid somewhat better than in the US

OMG Katie I would have followed those jerkwads outside and asked what their deal was and ten fill them in! HA Believe me I have done it before!
I am a server on the weekends, and also put myself through college serving well 3/4 the way through I havent finihed yet. So this is very hot for me.
So in my opinion tipping is not optional, I work in a fine dining restraunt so it is VERY rare that I would get a tip below 18%. However coming from a server standpoint if someone is leaving less that 18%they are completely cheap. Service usually is not an issue seeing as it is a fine dinng place and you dont get a mass amount of people at once unless its friday night fish fry. (where I work) If someone leaves less that 18% and they come in agian and I remember what they look like I will refuse to wait on them again. As will many servers.
It is always the people who make you run back to the kitchen every 5 seconds for soemthing or the table that orders drinks one at a time that never tips decent and its BS.
I think when a server does a lot of work and is kind and nice and you leave them a bad tip it is insulting.
Also it is a huge misconception that if something is wrong with the food it is the SERVERS fault adn ITS NOT. Remember you waitress does not have the chef hat on and if your steak comes M and not MR its not her fault the chef cooked it. If she is polite and fixes the issue, she did her job and it does not warrant a bad tip!  I also know people dont realize that when you tip a server she in return has to tip the bussers and the bar and the hosts a percentage.
When I go to a resraunt, I tip 25% if I have great service I also have a toddler who makes a big mess so I copensate there, If its average service they get 18-20% If its rotten service 15%.
 

I can only recall two occasions where I have not tipped my server and believe me, they didn't deserve a tip.  I don't think it should be required to tip, but I think if the server is doing their job well (as in bringing the correct order, keeping drinks filled and making sure we have what we need) then they deserve a tip.

Brooke#26 wrote:We usually tip 15% for average normal service, we have tipped way more for above and beyond service and definelty I have not tipped someone when I got poor service.  Tipping is not required but it is a social norm but I think if a server doesn't do their job they don't deserve to be tipped.

 

dorkgirl_jen wrote:I
Random sort-of-related question that's been bugging me all week: Do you tip the pizza delivery guy? And what would you do if you forgot? .

 
yes i tip the pizza delivery guy and  the chinese delivery guy.. usually only $3 or so though- i wonder if that is an appropriate tip or not? anyone know?

And to spin off a bit more- what about the gal who cuts your hair- how much do you tip her? Or the nail technician? I usually tip 10% os the service cost- is that a good tip?

dorkgirl_jen wrote:IMO, it's required. If I can't afford to pay for my meal and leave a tip, then I can't afford to eat there. We usually tip between 15 and 20 percent. 
Random sort-of-related question that's been bugging me all week: Do you tip the pizza delivery guy? And what would you do if you forgot? We ordered pizza the other night and I completely forgot to tip the poor kid. Under normal circumstances I'd have called to find out the delivery person's name and then leave him a tip next time we were there, but I have a house full of sick kids and didn't get around to it. Now I feel really bad about it.

 
Yes I tip the pizza guy, and if I forget which I have done once I went in there the next day and left him atip

deborahdeborah wrote:It's optional in the sense that the restaurant can't call the police if you don't leave one, but isn't optional in the sense that the universal expectation, as reflected in server wages, is that the diner will tip, and therefore, in my view, tipping your server is part of the cost of a restaurant meal.
 

IA.

I have not left a tip before, but only when I got very bad service. This girl only came to my table to take my order and bring our food and one other time to see if we needed anything(right after we got our food and before we needed anything, she also left our bill with us then). We got no drink refills and I waited almost 10 mins for her because I needed a box. I finally asked someone else who was passing by. The kicker, it was very late, we were one of maybe 3 families in the WHOLE restaurant and I watched her just stand in the doorway of the kitchen the whole time. I don't know what the deal was! I give a 10% tip if I found the server to be unhelpful(rarely comes to the table) but at found her friendly, 15% if its average, and 20% or more if they are very good.

KatieEBZHost wrote:

I
Random sort-of-related question that's been bugging me all week: Do you tip the pizza delivery guy? And what would you do if you forgot? .

  
yes i tip the pizza delivery guy and  the chinese delivery guy.. usually only $3 or so though- i wonder if that is an appropriate tip or not? anyone know?
And to spin off a bit more- what about the gal who cuts your hair- how much do you tip her? Or the nail technician? I usually tip 10% os the service cost- is that a good tip?

 

You get chinese delivery!!!! Thats heaven we dont have that here! I also leave $3 for pizza.
For hair I tip between 10-15%

Ciennasmom wrote:OMG Katie I would have followed those jerkwadsoutside and asked what their deal was and ten fill them in! HA Believe me I have done it before!

 LOL i don't have the balls to do that- someone find me a spine!  One girl I worked with got a .26 (yes 26 CENT) tip from a table that ran her arse off and she followed them outside and threw it at their car as they drove off... not her finest moment but sure as heck was entertaining!!

Ciennasmom wrote:  I also know people dont realize that when you tip a server she in return has to tip the bussers and the bar and the hosts a percentage.
 

 
REALLY good point to bring up!!!  I did not know that till I began serving...