POAS Envy

Wed Oct 03, 2012 9:55 am

We have been trying to conceive for the last three years. In the summer of 2010, I received my one and only positive HPT (at that time I did take several more and a few digis). That pregnancy ended in a missed miscarriage 3 days after hearing a strong heart beat at 9 weeks 1 day. I can count the times in the two years since that I have actually taken an HPT.

The story is that my cycle is textbook. I can predict the hour that it will start. I get a positive on the OPK on CD 14, O late that day or early next and AF shows on CD 28. There have been only 3 exceptions to this schedule in the last 3 years (and one of those I actually was pregnant). I still get the crazy urge to test...like all the time BUT it just does not logically make any sense to do it and I am beyond afraid of negative pg tests...like I have nightmares about them

All of my symptoms remain the same, the cramps start at the same time with every cycle. Then I think to myself, next will come the headache (which it always does), after this the boobs hurt (and they always do) and so on and so forth. It might have helped if my pregnancy had started with these symptoms as well but it was the exact opposite. I pretty much KNEW something had to be up because it was the exact opposite. No symptoms what so ever except for a curiously nauseous DH .


What I want is to be able to jump into testing again (as crazy as it sounds) and I need a push Help!

Wed Oct 03, 2012 10:11 am

First of all I am so very sorry for your loss.
It must be so frustrating that you are not getting pregnant after all this time. Have you ever thought of consulting a specialist/ RE? A specialist may be able to get to the bottom of things. Your AF might be like clockwork but maybe after you O there's something keeping the egg from getting fertilized or implanted.

I had unexplained infertility for more than 2 years, according to my Ob/Gyn who told me everything looked 'perfect' and with my regular cycles that it was just a matter of time/timing to get a positive. DH has severe infertility, no swimmers, but we also found out along the way that I had a fibroid and a polyp in the way.

Knowing that you were able to get pregnant in the past, is in part a blessing because it means it CAN happen. I hope you get your BFP and take home baby very soon.

My Ovulation Chart

Wed Oct 03, 2012 10:16 am

This is tricky because I wish I wasn't such a POAS-aholic. The thing is, you kind of have to go one way of the other. Wait until AF is late or test early and often. I test so early every month, that I don't even expect a positive. Then, I keep testing every day waiting for the faintest of faint lines to appear. It's not that hard for me because when I start out, I'm not even expecting or hoping to see a line, so I'm not disappointed. I know it's just too early. Then, as the days go on, I start to think a little bit that maybe this isn't the month, but I still have hope because it's still early. My mind is able to let my heart down gradually as the days click on. So, by the time AF arrives, I'm normally not too disappointed because I've slowly adjusted to the idea over a week long time. Normally, I'm just a little disappointed but overwhelmingly pumped and ready for the next chance to try. This might sound crazy, and I know it doen't work for everyone. If you want to try this method, I would suggest getting some cheap tests from Amazon.com or the dollar store. I hope this helps! Good luck catching that eggie this cycle!!

Wed Oct 03, 2012 1:06 pm

[quote="comewhatmae"]
Thank you for the kind words Yes, I didn't put the medical stuff here but I have thought of seeing A RE. Last year when we hit a year past the miscarriage we started testing and found out DH has a low sperm count. Not radically but lower than normal. It put us at a stand still, I honestly would rather it had been me. My testing revealed nothing and my doctor does not want to send us to a RE until we have tried the next two steps...Retest the SA(we had some issues with the initial test in that we didn't follow the timing rules) then either clomid or surgery for DH if it turns out the same.My DH is not exactly having the best reaction to the test results and even talking to him about another visit to the Urologist is a bit tense. My sis in law says that I just need to schedule it for him then tell him to go LOL. Anyway, my doc says theres really no use in talking IUI or anything until we see what his numbers look like...

Thu Oct 04, 2012 12:55 am

I totally agree with your SIL. I have to schedule all of DH's appt's then tell him when, where and who to see. It works for us. Actually will be in your shoes with the SA in Dec/Jan if no BFP by then. I'm "mechanically sound" and we are unsure about DH.
As for the POAS addiction... thats a totally different story. I can test 7 ways to sunday and stare at the same test for hours swearing I see something until AF arrivves. It's always a letdown for me.

I hope all works out for you in the end and that your stay here is a short one! Good Luck!