TTC - How Long to Wait?

Mon Oct 08, 2012 11:17 am

Hello ladies,

I have a question for those who are trying to conceive again after a loss. I miscarried in August. It was early, at barely 6 weeks along. My HCG levels were really low to begin with. The first draw was 160 and when I miscarried they were down to 20. I didn't have any cramps or pain during the miscarriage. It more or less felt like a heavy period (with blood clots) that lasted about 4-5 days. My doctor said to wait a few months to try again. I got my period 32 days after the miscarriage began.

I'm not going to lie, the first few weeks after the miscarriage were very up and down. I would be driving in my car and burst into tears. I would look at other pregnant women with disgust. If anything prenancy related was on TV, I would immediately turn the channel. I felt like a failure. It was hard to deal with.

Then one day the hurt was gone. The itch to TTC is back. I feel both physically and emotionally ready.

My doc said to wait 2 cycles (without mentioning any specific reason why). Is it really necessary to follow "doctor's orders" and wait another month? I feel like the miscarriage happened so early and naturally without any complications, that my body is ready to try again.

For those TTC after loss - how long did you wait?

Mon Oct 08, 2012 12:23 pm

I had an early m/c back in January, only waited one month, and then ended up having another m/c in May. The doctor had told me to wait 2 months, but I didn't listen and only waited one, and he seems to think that's the reason why I m/c'd the second time. I had to wait 3 cycles after the second one, and now we're finally able to start trying again. I would recommend waiting for 2 months, just based off my experience.

~Stephanie

Angel Baby #1 1/6/2012
Angel Baby #2 5/5/2012

Mon Oct 08, 2012 1:09 pm

I had my first m/c back in March of 2008. Because I had a healthy pregnancy before that, I wasn't watched very closely. I had a missed miscarriage, and ended up with a D & C. I got AF 5 weeks later. I had about 2 'normal' cycles, then I stopped ovulating on my own. I ended up getting diagnosed with PCOS. I went on Metformin and Femara. Three cycles later, I got pregnant with my second daughter.

Now, DH and I tried for 12 months (7 on Femara) and last month we did our first IUI cycle. It worked like a charm, but unfortunately, I had a chemical pregnancy. My levels went from 87 to 155 to 100 in less than a week. I just finished bleeding and am very confused whether or not I want to continue TTC.

Have you thought about speaking to a therapist? Sometimes they can give you insight to your feelings that you may not know about. TTC after my first loss was ROUGH. Especially when I stopped ovulating.

As for 'how long to wait'....my doc said 1 cycle, unless I wasn't emotionally ready. Listen to your heart and your partner as to when it's time. *HUGS*

Mama to McKenna and Rilee, and Angel Babies Brady (2008), Kendall (2012), and Casey (2013).

Tue Oct 09, 2012 1:29 pm

Hi! I'm an occasional lurker here.. wanted to chime in since I'm going through the same thing. I had a very early miscarriage about a month ago (5-6 weeks) and I was told to wait one cycle to try again. I have had 2 healthy pregnancies in the past and they didn't seem too concerned about the miscarriage - just said that it's common and to give myself a cycle to let myself heal. Hope this helps!

On another note, I did start my first cycle since the miscarriage yesterday and ended up in ER all night because the pain was horrendous. I thought something was terribly wrong, especially since I didn't have much cramping at all with the actual miscarriage itself. Tests came back ok, and they said it's normal for a period to be worse/more painful after m/c. Good luck, whether you decide to wait or not!

Tue Oct 09, 2012 4:45 pm

I am sorry for your loss.

I would wait the two cycles that your dr has said, I would not go against dr's orders. Look at it this way, if you tried again now and ended up losing another pregnancy would you blame yourself that you did not wait?

It may seem that the dr did not have a reason, and if you think that then ask him. He can then explain and then hopefully make you feel better about it. And two cycles is not that long in the scheme of things.

I have been told different wait times with different pregnancies. The most I have had to wait was three months after getting a methotrexate shot, and for a chemical pg I did not have to wait at all. I did wait until I had a cycle though to make dating a new pg easier.

Good luck.

My Ovulation Chart
- - - - - -
TTC#3 since Aug 2009

2 ds, 2004, 2009
Angel babies:
08/16/07
02/18/10
08/10
12/15 @8 weeks ectopic,lost right tube
03/03/12
08/12

Tue Oct 09, 2012 11:34 pm

I was never told to wait after a m/c. Mine were all 5wks or sooner. That being sad your doctor knows you best. SO I would wait and spend this time getting yourself ready for ttc. Start your prenantals and take extra vitamins if needed. I wish you good luck.

Steph. Mother of Eva-15,Jordan-10, Christopher-9, Abigail-6,and a angel son Joshua. Host of Pregnancy and Infant Lose board. Mummieeva@yahoo.com

Wed Oct 10, 2012 9:12 am

I'm so sorry you've had to join us ladies who have angel babies. It's so hard. I will send up some prayers for you as you make your decision.

After my m/c, I was told to wait three cycles, but I only waited one cycle. It's a personal decision. I couldn't bear thr thought of waiting so long. We didn't get pg right away though, and we ended up with a CP many months later and after many other fewrtility issues were discovered. I know a women who is now 13 weeks pg. She only waited one cycle between her m/c (at 10 weeks!) and her new pregnancy. And she is fine and healthy and so is her baby! It's a big decision. If you do decide to wait out this cycle, it might be a good time to get a flu shot and any other vaccinations (like tetanus and whooping cough) that you might want to get before becoming pg again. The TTC ingeneral board is a very active board if you'd like to join us ladies over there. Many of the ladies have also been through pregnancy losses.

Thu Oct 11, 2012 3:00 pm

Thanks to all for your advice.

I think I will wait for one more cycle and then start TTC again. I'm anxious to start trying, but like mentioned above if we go against my doctor's orders and another miscarriage would happen I would be devastated and would probably beat myself up for not waiting another month like she told us to.

I actually that miscarriages with your first pregnancy is actually quite normal. http://www.womens-health.co.uk/chemical.html (This website is out of the UK, so not sure how accurate it is or if it would follow US guidelines). Anyone else think there is any truth to this?

Reading the section on chemical pregnancy and it sounds a lot like what happened to me.

Wed Oct 17, 2012 8:40 pm

I'm going through the same thing, I was told 3 months is preferable but at least 1 normal cycle... still trying to decide what to do but haven't gotten my reg period back yet, thanks for all of your support and advice.

1 Angel 10/1/12

Tue Oct 23, 2012 3:19 pm

Hi! I don't post on this board very often anymore but I wanted to say that I'm sorry for your loss. I have noticed that my OB's and the OB's of the ladies on the board here can vary so much. I really think they tell you 2-3 months to give you time to heal emotionally. But unless you call your dr and verify thats why I would follow their instructions. Mainly for the reason that if you did conceive and then m/c you would blame yourself for not waiting another month. At least I would. I had 3 m/c's before I had my DS and since him I've had 2 more. They were each difficult and with each one I was ready to try again before my dr said I could but we waited.

Wed Jan 30, 2013 7:20 pm

I am new to posting and reading boards, so this response is a little late. Just thought I would share my experience, since I am now going through the same thing. First off, so sorry about your loss.
My fiance and I tried for almost 9 months to get pregnant with our first baby... found out in July 2012 that I was 6 weeks along. Had a normal pregnancy, no complications, not a thought crossed my mind that anything would go wrong. At 19 weeks, I found out that I had a missed miscarriage, that the heart had stopped beating. I had to take meds to start contractions, but no D&C was necessary. The meds finally worked Nov 1st. At the beginning of January, after seeing a genetic couselor for my case, we were given the "OK" to try again... so we will wait and see how the second pregnancy goes (if I get pregnant, won't know for another couple days, expecting my period tomorrow but already have signs of pregnancy), but I, too, would wait and listen to the doctor. I was in such a hurry, too... but I know I can't go through another m/c, I felt like I almost lost my mind with grief... all I wanted to do was get pregnant again, but it is better to wait, let you body heal, and take the vitamins you need to take to get your body ready to carry a baby... Best of luck!!!!

~Crystal~ Trying to be first time mother
First pregnancy ended in loss as missed miscarriage at 19 weeks.

Wed Jan 30, 2013 9:05 pm

I am new to posting and reading boards, so this response is a little late. Just thought I would share my experience, since I am now going through the same thing. First off, so sorry about your loss.
My fiance and I tried for almost 9 months to get pregnant with our first baby... found out in July 2012 that I was 6 weeks along. Had a normal pregnancy, no complications, not a thought crossed my mind that anything would go wrong. At 19 weeks, I found out that I had a missed miscarriage, that the heart had stopped beating. I had to take meds to start contractions, but no D&C was necessary. The meds finally worked Nov 1st. At the beginning of January, after seeing a genetic couselor for my case, we were given the "OK" to try again... so we will wait and see how the second pregnancy goes (if I get pregnant, won't know for another couple days, expecting my period tomorrow but already have signs of pregnancy), but I, too, would wait and listen to the doctor. I was in such a hurry, too... but I know I can't go through another m/c, I felt like I almost lost my mind with grief... all I wanted to do was get pregnant again, but it is better to wait, let you body heal, and take the vitamins you need to take to get your body ready to carry a baby... Best of luck!!!!

Welcome! Thank you so much for sharing your story. Keeping my fingers crossed that you get a BFP!!

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