Don't know how to deal.

Sun Jul 08, 2012 4:10 pm

Me and DH have been TTC for about 6 months now with no luck. I just found out today my cousin is 3 months pregnant and she isn't even trying, heck she hardly has a steady boyfriend. I want to be happy for her, but it is so hard to see someone not even trying to get pregnant end up pregnant. I cried today. I feel selfish but it is just so hard for me to be hearing about people (including celebrities) getting pregnant. Anyone else feeling like this?

Sun Jul 08, 2012 5:14 pm

YEP!! Its normal to struggle to feel happy for other people that are getting the things we aren't getting. THere is no control over it and its tough. I hate hearing about it to. I really hate finding out a close friend or family member is expecting because there's the initial announcement, and then you have to see it all the time too, and hear about it every day. You go through this internal war with yourself because you want to be happy for them, yet, your very envious and jealous of what they have. I guess I have tried to focus on what I already have, and not let what others are going through effect me. Its never easy, but....sometimes when I want to have that 'pity party' I just re-focus on what I DO have, not what I DON'T. Hang in there....

Sun Jul 08, 2012 5:16 pm

I personally don't feel this way because we just started TTC our 3rd. But I would agree with you that it is crazy that people who aren't in a serious relationship, aren't trying to get pregnant, people who abuse drugs/alcohol or abuse or don't want their children end up pregnant while others in this world who really would love and care for their children and be great parents can't get pregnant....I'm sorry you haven't conceived yet. Sending baby dust your way! Keep your head up girl! Hope it happens for you soon!

Sun Jul 08, 2012 6:24 pm

It's totally normal to feel this way. You are not alone. I know most of us who have been trying 6 months or longer feel this way sometimes. I agree it's a good idea to try to refocus your mind on things you have. Every once in awhile, when I can't take it anymore, I let myself cry and have a pity party and down my sorrows in a glass of wine (or 2 or 3). I've completely stopped enjoying FB, and have gone through stretches of not even checking it for weeks on end during the last year of trying and watching all my friends and family get pregnant. I hope tomorrow is a better day for you. And don't worry, we're all here together, and we're going to have beautiful, healthy, happy Spring 2013 babies!

Mon Jul 09, 2012 12:17 am

You're definitely not alone, It's very normal to feel this way and have mixed emotions...but you have all of us here and we're always here to listen. I'll tell you what helps me get through the sad times of TTC: 1) It helps to get things off my chest by writing...say here on BZ, 2) I love to have a girls night in and have a glass of wine, nothing like friends and laughter to cheer me up, 3) Date nights with my hubby cheer me up too! 3) I have to tell myself that I need to trust in God and His timing, no matter how much we want to be in control and have everything planned out. Best wishes, hope you'll get your own wonderful news soon!

Mon Jul 09, 2012 11:13 am

I'm sorry, pp said it plainly. That's how I dealt each month that passed by when TTC our last one.. I let myself have a pity party then tried to get projects or other things going to keep myself busy so I would think of it less. TTC our first 2 children took 1 month, and the 6 months it took to conceive our last seemed like a lifetime, but preseed is what worked for us finally. Good luck to you!