Scared and need to share

Mon Nov 19, 2012 10:30 pm

Disclaimer: I am probably about to ramble...

I have been harboring a lot of fear lately about the birth of Gemma and I feel like no one understands my concerns. I am hoping that some of ya'll will have encouraging stories and words that might help.

My doctor (who I love) has been wonderful throughout my pregnancy. But, there are a few things that I am really concerned about. He is one of those doctors that REALLY favors induction. He has induced girls at as early as 39 weeks, just because they didn't want to be pregnant anymore. He has already started talking about inducing me because of my "blood pressure".. Now, I am no doctor, but my blood pressure has been in the range of 140s/80s pretty much throughout my whole pregnancy. I know this is high, but is it really grounds to be talking about inducing me? I am so worried about it. I know that there is a HUGE increased risk of having a C Section. Just about everyone I know who has been induced has also ended up having one. And my doctor won't let a woman go past 41 weeks before he orders an induction. Even though I am a first time mom, I am a strong believer that babies come when they are ready. Surely he can't make me have an induction if I choose not to, right?

I am also EXTREMELY apprehensive about having a C Section. This may sound morbid, but I can not bear the thought of being awake during major surgery and feeling what they are doing to me, even if I am numb.

Friends and family keep saying things like "she's going to come our either way, so stop worrying" or "you're making a big deal out of nothing" and that only makes it worse because I feel like no one understands me. Anybody else feeling this? Or have been induced and didn't end up with a C Section?

Mon Nov 19, 2012 10:53 pm

I am a mom of two little girls and this will be my third. With my last DD I went in to the hospital thinking that my water broke when my mom was spending time with me in my room sorting clothes. Turns out she left her water bottle on the bed and the lid wasn't on tight. Long story short, after rushing to the ER to get checked they told me I was still only 2cm dialated like I was the week before. Just to be safe they had me stay in for a couple of hours and walk around. I had no pain and felt great but by the time they rechecked me I dialated a cm. I don't know if that was means for inducing but my OB thought it was. It took 12 hours after that before actually delivering her but I didn't have to have a c-section.

My biggest fear is having any type of surgery done so I understand how you feel. I'm always having nightmares of having a c-section. To be honest, I'm sure I'd probably panic if I went into labor and found out I had to have one. I had both my girls vaginally and with both of them I was given pitocin to help "speed along" the process. I want to say that you have nothing to worry about but you just never know. As for the whole, "everyone who's induced ends up with a c-section" theory... my experience as well as many mothers I know are different. Actually, many of the ones I know did fine being induced and delivering vaginally with the exception of those who had babies who's heart rates dropped. I have a lot of anxiety with this pregnancy but I'm sure we will all do fine. *Hugs*

Mon Nov 19, 2012 10:55 pm

I know many ladies who had to be induced---not one had to have a c-section. I just met a woman today at dinner, who was telling me how she had to be induced weeks early with each of her 3 kids (they were all giants--one weighed 10lbs!!!!). I was telling her my baby feels massive, so that is how we got into that conversation. I have close friends and family members who had issues and had to be induced... again, all had vaginal births. (Most were due to high blood pressure. Others had other health issues and to treat it, the baby needed to come out. My SIL had issues with having enough fluid around the baby.)

If you are worried at all... what about asking for a second opinion from a doctor who is not in your practice? I'm scared to death of high blood pressure and the issues it can cause on the mother, so I'm opposite I'm always checking to see if I need to pressure my doc on inducing me. (My bp is 103/70 range. I'm stalking it to make sure it doesn't go too high. It is obviously OK right now. I've had family members who have had BP spike up toward the end, which is why I'm paranoid)

It is completely fair game to worry about things--that is the mother in all of us We just want what is best for our babies. You need to feel completely comfortable. Keep asking questions to your doc, make sure he knows your feelings, and talk to other doctors until you feel better. Remember, they can't tie you down and induce you However, he should be looking out for what is best for you and your baby.

Mon Nov 19, 2012 11:09 pm

Lurker* Your feelings are normal. Your doctor can not induce you without your ok. Your bp being high is a reason for induction. But yours is not high enough for it yet. But if it gets higher it would increase your chance for a section. I am with you on the section fear. I have been induced 4 times. Never had a c-section after them. I can close twice though. Once was due to severe pre-e and once was because baby was breech. I managed to avoid it bother times. Make sure your SO and anyone with you in the labor room knows your wants and will help make sure they are done. Good luck and know your fears are normal.

Steph. Mother of Eva-15,Jordan-10, Christopher-9, Abigail-6,and a angel son Joshua. Host of Pregnancy and Infant Lose board. Mummieeva@yahoo.com

Mon Nov 19, 2012 11:17 pm

I agree with you about babies coming when they're ready. I wouldn't agree to an induction unless your baby is at risk (even with high blood pressure they should be able to run tests on the baby and see if she's doing okay). It seems like chances of a c-section are less when a woman goes into labor on her own. Good luck and follow your mommy instinct!

Tue Nov 20, 2012 12:20 am

My doctor is the same way about not letting me go past 41 weeks. I think it might be a military hospital policy or something though.

In the other aspects I am the opposite though. If I get to 41 weeks I will want to be induced and I'm not scared of a c-secition. My husband works at the hospital I am going to deliver at and has helped with 15 c-sections. All of them went very smoothly and the hospital has the best NICU in the country. I know I am in good hands, which helps ease any fears I may have had other wise.

I agree you need to communicate your feelings to your doctor and know that they can not do anything without your consent. Ask a lot of questions to make sure you know the reasoning behind what they are doing or saying. It'll help you feel at least a little better!

Aimee

Tue Nov 20, 2012 9:42 am

I agree that babies will come when they are ready. And I do know several women who ended up with a c-section after a failed induction. I don't know that not doing the induction would have mattered, though. A young woman from church just had her baby... She had to be induced because of multiple health concerns. She did not have a c-section.

If you feel really strongly about it, talk to your doc about your concerns. They cannot make you come in for an induction.

I really would plan for anything to happen, though. All 3 of my births were different. I ended up with an emergency c-section with my first. He was breech but we didn't know until I got to the hospital... My water had broke and I was fully dilated. I was devastated because I wanted to go natural and the thought of a c-section never really crossed my mind. I think it's a lot easier if you don't have any expectations.

That being said, your fears are perfectly normal. You've never done this before and have no idea what to expect! Even with this being #4, I am still a little scared. ;-)

Tue Nov 20, 2012 10:44 am

I think your fears are totally normal. Have you gone to a childbirthing class yet? If not, I would highly recommend you sign-up for one. I have heard mixed feelings about them, but we really found ours so helpful! It put my mind at ease about so many things that I was anxious about. I think knowing is so much better than fearing the unknown.

Hang in there!

Tue Nov 20, 2012 3:21 pm

Thanks, all! And I did complete childbirth classes with my husband and they were very helpful! I think Jen is right about not having any expectations and being ready for anything. Thanks for the encouraging words and thoughts. I'm glad that some share my concerns, makes me feel better that I'm not alone. I guess that's to be expected since I am a first time Mommy.