What infertility has taught me... (long post)

Wed Nov 28, 2012 7:44 am

This is what my infertility has taught me...

Patience

I used to live in a frenzy and want instant gratification on everything. As soon as I set my mind on something it would start to happen and it would get done. There was nothing I couldn’t achieve. Now I have learned to slow down, if not today then tomorrow. I live in real time as much as possible.


To calm down

I also used to build up so much anxiety weeks before cycles, appointments, test results etc. going over it all in my head and worrying about it. What will they say? what will the result be? If it’s bad news, what is our next step? Now I know these things are not a worry until they happen, in that time frame, in that moment.

Express yourself

Whenever I do start to needlessly worry I share much more about my feelings with DH. He is my rock. I think at the beginning we were both dealing with things in our own ways and we didn’t dare to stir up painful feelings. It has not been easy but eventually we have both opened up more and are true to our feelings. We went from being a childless couple without options to being the baby-making team we are today.

Forget Plan A or plan B

Things obviously haven't turned out the way we planned. We now have a clear idea of what we would like to happen, we are prepared to face more obstacles, and we are allowing for the best possible outcome...we just don’t know for sure how it will all turn out. We only have a promise to love each other ‘come what may’.



Appreciation and Gratitude

I’ve started giving myself and my partner kudos for every step we’ve taken on this journey. I am thankful for every chance I’ve received and every step closer we are to having a family together. I appreciate all the support and the help from family, friends, not to mention a whole host of medical professionals, and I appreciate our sperm donor and his most precious gift. Most of all I am grateful for this board, the love shared here and the relief that comes from knowing I am not alone.

My Ovulation Chart

Wed Nov 28, 2012 9:09 am

Beautiful! You have truly found joy in the journey. Thanks for sharing.

Wed Nov 28, 2012 10:21 am

Thanks for sharing... I really needed to hear this today!

Wed Nov 28, 2012 10:27 am

This is beautiful! I too have the same "I want this to happen, it shall happen today!" mindset and to take a step back to realize that the way I was mentally approaching my journey to pregnancy was all wrong especially since it was only giving me internal strife.

I no longer own a single pregnancy test, the only thing I have to figure out my cycle is my Ovacue and bbt and I only use those to see where I might be in my cycle or if AF is on her way. I like people more, I like myself more, and surprise I have hobbies now!

TTC #1 |Chart|http://www.ournestingproject.blogspot.com

Wed Nov 28, 2012 4:34 pm

Very nice! I think you should start a blog (if you haven't already). I usually hate writing but find it has been very theraputic for me. It's nice that you are still so positive after such a difficult time with IF. I'm a firm believer that good things happen to good people!

*~ Melanie

http://luvnmysailor.blogspot.com
IVF:
#1 June '12 canxd day 6
#2 Aug '12 LEAP w/MFL and max stims, EPIC FAIL.
Break for eastern med/acupuncture
#3 Mar/Apr '13--Hoping, wishing, praying!
Come on, baby! We're anxiously awaiting you~!

Wed Nov 28, 2012 9:37 pm

Beautifully written, I especially agree with the "Forget Plan A or plan B." I thought I had everything planned out so simply and well, nope not even close to my plan a, b, or c. DH and I have had to learn to stop making plans and just enjoy the moment right now when it's just the two of us.

Praying for a sticky bean!

Thu Nov 29, 2012 6:05 am

@Melanie - no blogging for us. Azoospermia is a very sensitive subject for DH and he really doesn't want the whole world to know he has it.

My Ovulation Chart

Thu Nov 29, 2012 4:49 pm

Thank you for sharing that...I really needed to hear it

Me 39, DH 37
TTC #1 since Aug 2011
IVF Feb 2013 - no eggs retrieved.
1st IUI scheduled for May 2013