Wed Nov 28, 2012 7:44 am
This is what my infertility has taught me...
I used to live in a frenzy and want instant gratification on everything. As soon as I set my mind on something it would start to happen and it would get done. There was nothing I couldn’t achieve. Now I have learned to slow down, if not today then tomorrow. I live in real time as much as possible.
To calm down
I also used to build up so much anxiety weeks before cycles, appointments, test results etc. going over it all in my head and worrying about it. What will they say? what will the result be? If it’s bad news, what is our next step? Now I know these things are not a worry until they happen, in that time frame, in that moment.
Whenever I do start to needlessly worry I share much more about my feelings with DH. He is my rock. I think at the beginning we were both dealing with things in our own ways and we didn’t dare to stir up painful feelings. It has not been easy but eventually we have both opened up more and are true to our feelings. We went from being a childless couple without options to being the baby-making team we are today.
Forget Plan A or plan B
Things obviously haven't turned out the way we planned. We now have a clear idea of what we would like to happen, we are prepared to face more obstacles, and we are allowing for the best possible outcome...we just don’t know for sure how it will all turn out. We only have a promise to love each other ‘come what may’.
Appreciation and Gratitude
I’ve started giving myself and my partner kudos for every step we’ve taken on this journey. I am thankful for every chance I’ve received and every step closer we are to having a family together. I appreciate all the support and the help from family, friends, not to mention a whole host of medical professionals, and I appreciate our sperm donor and his most precious gift. Most of all I am grateful for this board, the love shared here and the relief that comes from knowing I am not alone.