Aspergers/ help

Sun Jan 13, 2013 3:57 pm

I know this board is a bit slow. I am normally on the baby names board, but I thought I'd venture over here to ask for some possible help.

Every weekday after school I am helping out a friend by taking her 15 yo son in until she and her husband get off work.
I work school hours with special needs kids and am quite familiar with aspergers.
Because of this, I am pretty certain that this boy has aspergers. But I don't know how to bring it up to his parents.
As of right now they just think that "he enjoys acting more like an 8 yo, and ignoring [them], but know that he is very smart and more mature for his age in areas such as math, music, & science. So don't understand him"
Those are what they see. What they can't see is that there is a possible reason behind some of his other behaviors and lack of maturity in some areas.
Why I feel the need to bring this up is that for as long as he is with me, I have little problem getting him to focus-my DH and I have been keeping to a strict schedule when he is with us and using many techniques I do with the kids I work with.
But when his parents have him, they are very disorganized and chaotic with their time, and therefore are constantly having issues with their son, trying to keep him focused and on task, and I see him becoming anxiety and then that turning to depression when this occurs.
I would like to figure out a way of explaining to them about aspegers and that he may have it without just saying because knowing them they will not want to hear it- they are type who would see it as me saying that they are bad parents. Which is not true, but I feel that if they were to understand that aspergers were a possibilty then they might seek out in getting a diagnosis for their son, and would then hopefully learn how they might better help him.
Do any of you have any ideas? Or perhaps if you are a parent of a child of aspergers, how would you suggest I help them understand this, without making it look like I'm stepping on their toes as parents. This couple knows very little of aspergers/autism, and from what I know about his school- they don't work with many special needs students and have very few kids using an IEP. So, it would take "that one" teacher/staff member to notice- if you know what I mean by that.

Any help would be great.
Thank you

Tue Jan 15, 2013 3:22 pm

Hi byolanda33!

That is a tough situation to be in and I can't say I have much advice to give. I would think that since they know you have a background in working with special needs children, that they would value your opinion. As a parent, you want nothing but the best for your child - and I'm sure she would want to know. Maybe you could just discuss the behaviors you've witnessed and start from there.

Ashley
BabyZone Community Assistant
Ashley.Brabson@Disney.com

Wed Jan 23, 2013 1:09 pm

Hi,
I am a total lurker.
My 6 year old son has Autism. If you feel like you would like to bring it up to the parents I say go for it. It is possible that they are in denial about what they see. I know for me it was hard at first to admit to myself something was not right with my son, and I would have been defensive if someone approached me because of how I was feeling.
You can always phrase it something like "Ive noticed a few behaviors (or whatever you want to say) that make me feel a bit concerned. I wonder if you notice these things too? Has anyone else ever shared concerns with you? Have you thought about mentioning it to your pediatrician?"
Autism Speaks has a good website that might help you start dialogue with the parents.
I know some school districts do not allow teachers/ assistants to use the word Autism or Aspergers and just suggest that the parents speak to a dr about some symptoms.
Also on a side note, very soon the criteria to get a diagnosis for someone is changing and there will no longer be an Aspergers diagnosis.
Good Luck.

Fri Feb 01, 2013 11:54 pm

I agree with the above post. I also have a 6 yo with autism and I think if you are keeping the child's best interest at heart, you can't be wrong. Unfortunately they are probably in denial otherwise they would have gotten him help. Good luck. I have no suggestions how to break it to them or bring it up so sorry