Without mom : Loss of a Loved One Zone

Wed Jun 03, 2009 7:30 pm

Hey everyone, I wanted to put a little topic on here in hopes of getting some advice. My mom passed away 4 years ago on Jan 24 however, I am still having bad days which I figure is typical. My issue is that I am pregnant(18 weeks) with my first one(it's a boy) but I've been having a really hard time dealing with my mom not being here through this. On the downside my boyfriends mom is not supportive just because we aren't married yet. I guess us being together for 2 years and that he's a 28yo and I'm 25yo responsible adults doesn't matter to her. So it's been really painful to knowing that the only grandma that cares is in heaven. His mom has pretty much straight up said she's not going to help us as far as babysitting or anything. We see his mom every Sunday at church and usually go eat dinner with them afterwards but it's hard for me to not have bad feelings towards her. So does anyone have any advice on how I can become a stronger person through this from both aspects as far as getting thur the lose of my mom and the future mother-in-law? I just wish our baby could have a loving grandma.

Thu Jun 04, 2009 2:22 pm

Hi Jen. Congrats on your pregnancy!

I'm sorry to hear that you still have bad days...we don't ever get over loss do we? I think we just learn to keep going. Hopefully your boyfriend's mom will be a completely different person when the baby gets here. You may be very pleasantly surprised! Babies tend to have that affect on people.

You know that your mom would be so excited about your pregnancy. She wouldn't want you worrying about all of this. Just because she isn't here doesn't mean that she can't be a part of the baby's life. Let the baby know from the very begining how loveable your mom was. I have pictures of my mom around the house so that my girls are able to "see" her on a daily basis.

Hugs!!

Fri Jun 05, 2009 12:58 pm

I hope she does too. I have some pictures up already so your right I just gotta let mher be known and she was an amazing woman! Thanks!

Fri Jun 26, 2009 6:20 pm

It is tough, I have pictures up and the boys now who "nana" is. It is still very hard knowing that they will never know her and my boys are 5 and 3. she has been gone almost 11 yrs now. You will find a way and once that baby gets here I really hope that your bf's mom changes her mind.

Mon Aug 03, 2009 11:47 am

I totally understand how you are feeling. I lost my mom about 4 months ago. I am 36 weeks pregnant and am having the hardest time dealing with the fact that she will not be here with me. I have good days and bad days. All I can say it keep your head up and take it day by day. The closer it gets to my son's arrival the more I miss her. I hope you get through this.

Best wishes

Tue Aug 04, 2009 8:52 am

NCKL809 wrote:I totally understand how you are feeling. I lost my mom about 4 months ago. I am 36 weeks pregnant and am having the hardest time dealing with the fact that she will not be here with me. I have good days and bad days. All I can say it keep your head up and take it day by day. The closer it gets to my son's arrival the more I miss her. I hope you get through this.

Best wishes

Hugs! I'm here if you need to talk.

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